If you’ve read some of my other posts you would know that I was raised by a single mother. It’s not something I’m ashamed of. I’m proud of it. Why shouldn’t I be? I was raised by a strong, powerful, funny, hardworking, kind woman. As role models go, I hit the jackpot. I tell anyone and everyone that I missed nothing not having a father.
One thing I am, though, is disappointed. I’m disappointed that the Warrior didn’t have the marriage she wanted. The marriage she deserved. She deserves to have a husband/partner who feels lucky, each and every day, that she chooses to be with him. She is that kind of special. And I am disappointed that she has never had this. I’m disappointed that my father was that big a disappointment as a man. I’m disappointed that my stepfather has not lived up to my expectations for her either.
Given how harsh I can sometimes be, many people are surprised that one of my favourite films in the whole world is 3 Men and a Baby. The 1987 film was released a full three years before I was born. Before the Warrior had even met my father. A brief summary of the film: it stars Tom Selleck, Steven Guttenberg and Ted Danson as three bachelors living in New York who accidentally end up looking after Jack’s (played by Danson) baby daughter. They end up falling in love with this little girl who changes their lives completely. It’s funny, heartwarming and so not the kind of film I usually like. It is based around fatherly love after all. And this is something I haven’t known in over 20 years.
Don’t get me wrong. I haven’t missed it at all. For me, a mother’s love is something I couldn’t live without. For many others, it’s the total opposite. I would never begrudge someone this if that’s the case. Of course I wouldn’t.
But I think the reason I love 3 Men and a Baby and can watch it over and over again and still love it is because when I think of my father I feel disappointed. Instead of love, I feel (almost) indifferent. So when I watch a film like this, a film which sees a little girl end up with three dads, instead of disappointment, I feel joy. Because it reminds me, at least for a few minutes, that not all fathers are like mine. They are not all disappointments. Some do the job well. Some actually want to.
And that’s a great thing.